During this rather unpleasant experience as stated in my previous post, at the same time I received another nice comment on one of my two videos I recently uploaded in YouTube. I originally had them uploaded to Google Video but clearly YouTube is set up better to attract people who type in key words. This fan found me through my Walk On By Cell Phone Madness video:

Wow, He Wants to Fly Out To Hear Me Perform!
Hello from your fan David in Chicago! I am really enjoying your performances, and would love to see you perform live in San Francisco. I work for Southwest Airlines and we begin flying there again in October. I also took the liberty of sharing "Walk On By" with my friend in Dallas, Mamie. She also says she'd like to hear more of your music..Have a wonderful day, and keep the great performances coming! -David Avery, Chicago, IL

Comments on Walk-On By Video recently Uploaded on You Tube
Cheryl! Cheryl! Cheryl! You are amazing! I just heard your background on "Walk On By" and you are the only person I have ever heard besides Dionne herself who has the goods to tackle this song. I loved it! I haven't gotten chills like this since I first heard the original! I'd love to hear -- and I'd even pay --- to hear you sing the song by yourself.. just keep up the good work, I am subscribed!!!!Thanks for the wonderful music-- David in Chicago

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Ms. S&M's Promotion of Torture Devices Posted in Her Article
the Day of Her Post Referring Visitors to My Blog

The day I received three hate mails from Ms. S&M's fans,
I got a a crazy phone call around midnight about
Ms. S&M's Displeasure with Me

The thing is that the accusation is baseless sensationalism from a very shallow publicity seeking mindset that typically refuses to back down when provided with real evidence. Ms. S&M has no case against me and a settlement will be worked out at an arbitration hearing in my favor in the end. Like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and the rest, these whores are all gradually falling for their shallow, criminal lifestyles.

I'm moving my domain name to the new Taxi Independent Home page until I have my own site. Blogging gets a little tedius and seems self defeating at times. I want to spend less time typing and more time singing. I'm discontinuing this blog for a while unless something of a significant nature happens during my development phase in music.

For two weeks I've been in recovery mode searching for antidotes and remedies to premenopause symptoms that have made me feel like I'm dying. I think I found some kind of relief and am still in the treatment and recovery phase.

A Lot of Long Hours
For the past 3 months I had been intensely involved in working with jazz pianist Ken Muir to prepare jazz charts for live performance with a jazz trio. I performed 18 times at Bistro Yoffi's last month. Preparing the charts was time intensive. People have no idea how much work goes into live music production. Some singers just take generic lead sheets from jazz books and hand them to the musicians. That approach is more for amateurs that would have limited results. What I was doing was working on openings and endings of charts and actually doing all the music lead sheet transposition conversion in a software program. It takes 3-4 hours to complete one chart with lyrics on average.

Reevaluating Objectives to Live Performance Jazz Singing
Music takes a lot of time and money. To be a live professional singer, you need a lot of time and money to invest these days. I was on a fast track with a goal to convert to professional performance venue by the end of 2007. I'm now reevaluating that goal. It seems wealthy older ladies dominate this genre in San Francisco who have a large network of friends who come to see them to have drinks. For me, I'm not a people person and never have been. The stress involved with dealing with that aspect of performing is forcing me to reconsider my goals and redirect my efforts into new areas of interest like podcasting and studio recording.

Musicians Are Expensive
The other aspect to my reconsidering my objectives is fine jazz musicians are expensive. A great guitarist, Chris Pimentel charges $250 for a 4 hour gig. That's just one musician! I could be sinking a lot of money into a blackhole. I'm sure I'd eventually get some results, but I also have to consider that I don't own a car and don't want to drive outside San Francisco. I'm terrified of freeways and the bridges. I want to wind down from the stress, not accelerate it. Many people at this age begin to experience health problems. Stress is always a factor in people's rapid deterioration.

There are so many different areas I can work in music. There's so much to learn and explore. I have actually been gradually learning music theory again and its becoming easier and less foreign. I think I'm going to take a very slow paced gradual approach to music and singing and not force it beyond my capacity. If I had millions of dollars there would be no problem being a singer. It comes down to time and money.

Music Doesn't Rule Me - Health Does
I've been enjoying not pressuring myself to sing and do my music projects the past two weeks while dealing with the premenopause symptoms. I've gone on shopping sprees, got a lot of much needed chores and errands taken care of, bought a new wardrobe, got rid of all of my old clothes, redesigned my flat, bought jewelry. I'm just making sure my needs come first before music. I've invested huge amounts of time into music and really needed to step back and figure out a way to make it a more balanced, enjoyable, less tedious process. Next comes a mini vacation.

An interesting turn in events may put a little more umpf into the local jazz industry in San Francisco. Today's S.F. Chronicle article says Yoshi's is planning on opening another club in San Francisco in October. That's great news. I hear it's hard to even break even for whoever performs there and most use it as a feather in their cap.

Local Jazz Dried Up Since the 50's
Either way, I've been told that the local jazz market has been bad in San Francisco since the 50's. Great musicians such as guitarist Chris Pimentel take gigs at singer workshops like the one I performed in that is a real sign how hard it is right now to make a living. Older wealthy women who have money to burn are able to invest in their craft and build audiences no matter what kind of voice they have. In other words, if they have a lot of friends, they make money for the clubs they sing in, and they pay the trio musicians who perform with them. That's all it takes to get a gig. It doesn't really matter what the quality of their vocals or performance is, but that their friends show up to drink and have a good time.

Since I realized I'm pre-menopausal a few weeks ago, I've really been struggling with the symptoms and discomfort and lack of energy. It really affects my emotional state as well that is damaging to any singer. I'm unsure now if I will be able to fulfill my goals in being a live performer afterall due to roadblock. I also don't like the fact I have to play politics to get an audience.

I really love music and singing when I feel healthy. Unfortunately, this roadblock is very serious and I don't know how I can possibly overcome continual symptoms of this nature while maintaining the momentum I had. So, it's really up in the air if I'm going to continue working towards being a singer. My health is my priority because if you don't have your health, you really don't have anything. Health in itself is wealth. I also don't have to be singing to be fulfilled in life. I can do plenty of other things and be just as fulfilled. So, it's all up in the air. I'll let everyone know if I plan on selling my $2,000 Neumann 87ai mic too.

There's a good reason why I'm not singing at Bistro Yoffi's today. I've already paid for 4 more sessions and Sunday was the last of the first set series of workshops. The reason I called in absent is that "it" has arrived. What every women seems to dread; men-o-pause. Just in time for me to see Menopause the Musical playing in San Francisco! Um, don't think so. I'll settle for the YouTube videos that are enough for me.

To follow-up on my growing cat themes on this blog (see the Nora Playing the Piano video of April 26th), I'll refer to it as men-o-paws. I'm kind of looking forward to it because PMS drives me nuts. If I only have to suffer symptoms for a year or so to get rid of PMS it will be worth it. There is no way I could sing well today, though I've been preparing new songs like One Less Bell to Answer, Walk On By and Sophisticated Lady. I was even planning on doing Sunny again to improve upon last week's lame performance. All that changed last night as I knew something was going to hit me hard, and it did. All I want to do is sleep and keep the windows open. I've had the typical symptoms and today just confirmed it all.

Today is nothing more than a small comma, an insignificant burp, a gasp for air, a long lazy nap and a temporary zombie state of mind. As I've been steadfast for the past 2.5 years in moving forward as a singer, this is just a small paws for me as an evolving singer. I'll be back at Yoffi's next Sunday.

Based on my valuable experiences performing at Bistro Yoffi's with talented musicians, and in front of an audience, I've been able to identify the kind of material an audience prefers me to sing. It seems I'm best geared towards dramatic songs that evoke emotion.

Last Sunday, I experimented with a couple of songs that didn't go over too well. For instance, I've always loved the Bobby Hebb song Sunny, and wanted to try and perform it. Someone was directing a kind of R&B style for me to sing it in, and it didn't go over too well. I usually have to rehearse a song well before I sing a new style. I wanted to open Sunny with a slow free feeling with emotion and the song went by too fast for me to really do anything artistically with it.

At this point, I've noticed during Jesse Foster's jazz singing workshop I'm more inclined to learn and less inclined to try to impress people with my singing. So, when there's a train wreck like there was in How High the Moon last Sunday, I'm not embarrassed at all. We just worked out the double time problem in the chart and did it over again fine. The same goes for when I choked on a high note in Time After Time a while back. I'm not afraid to make mistakes and want to learn from them most of all. For instance, the hot black tea I had prior to performing had dried out my vocal chords.

I did perform a Sade song, Kiss of Life, on Sunday that the audience seemed to like the most, although there weren't many people there as there was last time. Yesterday I bought even more charts to transpose to my key. This means I will have an endless choice of songs to sing in the future and at least now have the basic knowledge of what to do in a live cold (no rehearsal) performance with a trio.

Off to Octavia's - Upscale Jazz Club
After next Sunday, the last day of the workshop, I'm going to do open mics in the city, such as at Octavia's where the booking agent invited me to sing at open mics with her trio. I hope to be performing there with my own trio one day.

I'd like to avoid the pitfall many singers commit against an audience, of singing what they prefer and forcing it to the displeasure of their audience. I did this on my last song last week, singing the rather uneventful Tenderly to the boredom of many. I was bored singing it too.

Continuing Work with Jazz Pianist Ken Muir
Since I have a few charts under my belt now, I can work on rehearsing more than chart development. Each week I rehearse an hour with a talented jazz pianist, Ken Muir and hope to one day be performing with him.

Limiting Jazz Venue in San Francisco
I am continually reminded by experienced entertainers like Jesse Foster how live performance music is a thing of the past. Talented professional musicians are hurting for work. That is why I initially just thought I'd be a recording artist. I don't expect to be performing a whole lot live, but wanted the experience and to be able to say, yes, I've performed around town. Perhaps even have a trio one day. Then I plan on doing my CD with Ken Muir as an arranger and start writing my own material years down the line. I also have some strange vision of singing on cruise ships, but I don't think that's very realistic. Besides, I get sea sick too easily and don't want to throw up on the audience in the middle of a song.

Last night at Bistro Yoffi's I had the honor of performing with another set of fine jazz musicians. This week was more of the traditional jazz trio from last week's electric bass player and a guitarist.

This week Carla Kaufman (center photo) was the bassist and she was just outstanding. Here's a little info on Carla from her trio's site:

Bassist CARLA KAUFMAN graduated with a BA in music from UC Berkeley and has performed with Jules Broussard, Lavay Smith and her Red Hot Skillet Lickers, Clark Terry, Ed Kelly, Rebecca Paris and many others. She has been on the faculty at Jazz Camp West, the Stanford Jazz Workshop, the Young Musicians Program at UC Berkeley, and Cazadero Music Camp, and she has recorded music for national commercials at Fantasy Studios in Berkeley.

Unlike last week, there was also a pianist, John Grove. Unfortunately due to his common name on the Internet, I couldn't find anything about him. I probably should have asked him last night.

Jesse Foster was there last night singing some of his originals from his upcoming new CD. There was also a fantastic young singer in the workshop who set the bar very high. I'll get more info on her and will post next week.

My Performance
Since there is no rehearsal with the band prior to performing, you never know how your chart is going to do. Last night, I kind of knew my first three charts would be weak, as they were Jobim bossa's. I had no guitar or Latin percussion sounds and the chord changes weren't to my liking.

On the second set I was like a different singer and delivered The Nearness of You, You Don't Know What Love Is, and A Night In Tunisia, with confidence. Tunisia sounded okay, but you can't expect to sound like Ella's recording without rehearsals that's for sure.

What I Learned
Last night I learned that the people who go to listen to jazz in a casual dinner/bar setting don't have high expectations for singers. A few who were listening later told me I sounded great, and I was totally surprised. Jesse told me that it doesn't take that much to please people in such an environment. In my mind, I know I can do much better but I shouldn't appear to be unhappy with my singing performance on stage.

At one point I had even rolled my eyes in the middle of O'Morro Nao Tem Vez because it didn't sound anything like the original Astrud Gilberto recording. I only rolled my eyes because it was a workshop though. I'd never do that in a real performance setting.

Next week I may try a Sade chart and see how that sounds too.